Personality Disorder in me !!!!!!!

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	High
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	High
Dependent Personality Disorder:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

Sometimes........

Sometimes... its important that I decide my priorities and do only as much as myself permits me to!
I just felt today that my life has become hell, not because people have made it, but because I have made it so. I must must must decide upon my priorities, and you know what, studies dont even come close to being considered when I am talking about my priorities!!!! I used to proudly tell people that my hobbies are web designing, graphic designing and writing, but now it is specifically these things that are getting into my ass, and how?? I've been upto making four - yes FOUR website, TWO brochures, and also a couple of write ups, and this is getting into me badly now. I just want to break free of the shackles that people have made around me by trying to extract work from me. I have been missing my breakfast, lunch, and dinner and eventually spending money on eating stuff from the canteen.
Perhaps I will have to start saying NO to people without feeling guilty in that, and should I? Perhaps my family needs more attention than myself and any damn shitty activity that I do. And I guess having one, close, good friend is worth it than having a pleothera of people who wil spit back on you someday for sure. Perhaps the world will learn from its own experiences, why tell them whats right and whats not.
Perhaps I should not say anything beyond this.

Now Im gonna cry

Now I am completely frustrated.
And you know why? Cos Im feeling so lonely, andI know people here are bad, they just dont wanna do anything in life, but ****
The World is bad, the people are bad.
Thats it.
They just now how to play loud music and not think about others who can also be there. Sometimes people say things which seem so bitter and sharp, I sometimes wonder if it should cut their own tongue while speaking. But life has its own turns and corners, so Im not gonna say that such incidences make me feel like wanna dying. Cos I know things like this have happened with me before, they happen all the time, and they are going to happen later also. Its just that there are peple who find me a big pain in the a$$, but to hell with them. Why should it always be me who would care for the world? I dont get what I give, I dont get anything even if I expect ten percent returns. In childhood, I was taught, "Love thy neighbours as thyself", and "Talk to strangers as you would talk to your loved ones" But I guess these are the things which hardly ever get practical, and the sequence of events always denies these goody goody theorems of value education. Its at times like these that I feel like running away from here to somewhere calm and peaceful. I dont know why I have such a pathetic fate. But I know, that the "World is bad, People are Bad".

"High Flight"

I had this poem in my school syllabus, and I came across it again today while wathcing the movie The Snowwalker..
Well about the moive, very much like Tom Hanks' Cast Away, but still a good one, not a drag.

High Flight was composed by Pilot Officer John Gillespie Magee, Jr., an American serving with the Royal Canadian Air Force. He was born in Shanghai, China in 1922, the son of missionary parents, Reverend and Mrs. John Gillespie Magee; his father was an American and his mother was originally a British citizen.
He came to the U.S. in 1939 and earned a scholarship to Yale, but in September 1940 he enlisted in the RCAF and was graduated as a pilot. He was sent to England for combat duty in July 1941.
In August or September 1941, Pilot Officer Magee composed High Flight and sent a copy to his parents. Several months later, on December 11, 1941 his Spitfire collided with another plane over England and Magee, only 19 years of age, crashed to his death.
His remains are buried in the churchyard cemetery at Scopwick, Lincolnshire.

"High Flight"
Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hov'ring there,
I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless halls of air.
Up, up the long, delirious, burning blue
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or even eagle flew -
And, while with silent lifting mind I've trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand and touched the face of God.
John Gillespie Magee, Jr.

Wow..I guess this was the best one!!

And I got this thought twice in the last 3 days!! Hmmm Im talking about movies, Ive seen two splendid movies in the last 3 days. Both of them Korean movies, with subtitles in English.
Both are love stories and both made me cry, the last one made me weep!!!!!!!!1
1. When I Turned Nine
2. My Sassy Girl

And guess wat, when I saw the first one, I said to myself that there cant be another movie better than this one, I just dint have faith in any other movie. I downloaded the other movie too form the LAN, and began watching it, having heard that it is also nice. But the beginning 40 minutes or so were quite dull and boring and they made me feel weird and I realised soon that the first movie was undoubtedly the best. And then I went and told my neighbour that MSG is poor and boring, and he told me to watch it till the end. I dint have faith, but still, I wasnt feeling like doing anything today afternoon, so thought of watching it. And I dint blink my eyes in the entire movie!!! It was the cutest movie I've ever seen, and the best love story, may be a Serendipity story of Love that I have ever come across.
And yeah how can I forget, the nine year old girl in the first movie, and the actress in the second movie, just too beautiful!!! Marvels!!

I recommend all of you must watch these two movies and exactly in the same order that I did. Im sure you'll love them, you'll fall in love with not just the movie, you'll fall in love with LOVE !!!

Opps Gmail, Im sorry to have insulted you !

Hey
Im so sorry
I thought Gmail dint have filters, but it actually does have!!
The filters dirct specific mails to specifc assigned LABELS, Yahoo does to folders...thats the difference..
both are good, Labels are faster, much faster, but folders look neater on your inbox !!
Watever, Im happy using both !!
TC.

Raining away my tears !

Today, its been the fourth day and its been raining continuously, more so the last 3 days.
Ive been wet, all of us have been wet...the feet are just wrinkled all through.
The jeans folded up a few inches, an umbrella with one prick coming out of it, hanging over my shoulder lightly held, blue bag on the back, gettin a bit wet, the words written in blue ink trying to spread and deglorify themselves, my cycle..one tyre punctured I dont know how, the cell in my upper pocket trying to ring, cant hold it,my hands are engaged. Looking ahead, I see one of our mess workers, walking on the divider line in the center of the street, its raining, he doesnt even have a footwear, hes got elephant leg, his right leg is like a trunk of a tree, and hes dragging it in the rain. Poor Man. I can see ahead, a little further beyond, where the road bends, my destiny waits there for me, I have got exams at the bend of the week. I have done nothing absolutely to justify myself to the aim that I hav come to this place precisely for!! Well anyways...when I see others, I dont feel anything, but when I look at them, it makes me realise how small I stand before them, before the world, how small I stand before MYSELF !! Its like the pitch of the melody just doubles the moment I think about all this and that. It seems sometimes that Im trying to kill myself, but then it also seems that Im trying to protect myself.
But there's one thing which I wnat to tell people, I've never been untrue to anyone, I've never lied to people, I've never been cruel to anyone, Yes I have hurt people, at times I have hurt my best friends, my parents, but things go wrong because of misunderstandings. I have never and sahll never be cruel to anyone, people are bad, I know that, and people are selfish and I know that is true. But I would never as I have never lied ever before. It hurts when someone Pretends to be someone else, not that he or she has been for so many years. It hurts when peple pretend to be something other than what their parents know them to be. It hurts all the same !!

Wondering about it.

Come this friday and I'll be put to test.
the first mid semester exam of the year!!
I know I haven't studied anything and Im wondering wat Im gonna do then!!
It will be really a difficult task for me to cover as much as I can of the syllabus!!

Why am I saying what I am saying?
:( Im sad about something I dont know why!!
Listening to background scores of some nice english movies, in a soft tone, thinking about a special one, its difficult to stop emotions flurrying out form my heart, out of my eyes, warming my chest inside out. I dont know why and how all this is happening, but something is going on..cant put it in words, its too difficult for me to do that!!
Anyways..BBYE.

Posting crap ?? Sue dybydx™

This happened long time back on Mutter (thts our LAN forum)
I'm dybydx !!
dybydx: A German contestant tries to blow up with his nose a condom he put over his head in the eastern town of Leipzig, during the 151st edition of the German TV show 'Wetten, Dass...?' ('Let's Bet...?')

CYBERMANTAS: Trust Differential to come uy with the weirdest posts and pics..... go Slope go....!!!

MatterLogic: chutiyaps in this forum is going out of hand .....

nullchar: simply nuke u can make all these ppl in space age so that they dont come out with these crap just to incraese their ranks hey dybydx did u go through this http://10.108.**** first think before u post such crap does it have ne meaning ?? does it contribute +vely to the forum??(except incraesing the no of ur post) if u r so desprate about ur no ask nuke hell just increase it but pls do not post crab its my humble request u ppl r spoiling the charm of mutter i have already decreased my no. of visits to mutter this spamming virus has just spread every where DC++ is just hell and pls dont make mutter also the same plss nuke help required the essence of this forum is already lost pls dont degrade it

TripleMe: Brilliant post man. Incredible stuff. I don't know why nullchar and matterlogic opposed it.

x_scn: Why should some one support such chutiaps ???????????? Do not take it seriously ............ just kidding

akhil: wtf are u so loaded about?agreed,the pic wasnt that awesome or "extraordinary",but it wasnt outright crap either...and as for the so-called spamming,its just a few bored guys having a little fun...guys dont spam to inc the no of their posts...junta does it just for the fun part of it. as for the "contributing to mutter" bit...nothing most guys post(or have posted,for that matter) is of much "use" anyway...its all just for the fun involved. btw,sorry bout the rather long post.. _________________

dybydx: Why did it happen with me??? When people pick up pics from Orkut and post it, posting some girls' pics from a friendship forum is not DEGRADATION of MUTTER, and when i post a Pic that is Voted as the Most Viewed Pic of the Day on Yahoo, It becomes a crap, doesnt it!!!! And when people keep posting those pics of BABE from IITB or HOT AUNTY<<<<<<>>>>>> WHEN ever i post something Some people feel that i am doing so only to increase my rank.....can someone check when was the last time i posted something??????? Anyways....I RESIGN FROM MUTTER !!!!!!!!!!! Thanks a lot!!
Someone please tell me how to deregister myself from Muttter!

shank: no need to dereg urself...... just dont visit that will serve the same end this is ofcourse if u really want to.......... or is it an empty threat??

picasso: wow... one allegation and you back off.... !!!

TripleMe: Cool man. Relax. The pic was great. People have opinions, and they voice them. Some may support your view (I did ), some may oppose it. They have an opinion and they express it - as should you. Learn to take criticism. There will always be people who will criticise you, no matter what you do. If you feel the criticisms are worth responding to, reply to them. If you feel they are not worthy of reply, ignore them. Anyways, the pic was cool. Never imagined a condom could be blown so big !! Man, just think of the the strain !! Strain must be about 2. !!

x_scn: Abe learn to live with critisism ............. and if you want to succseed in your life then learn not to break at the extreme face of critisism, You must have some idea about himalaya (Unfortunately I am quoting it for second time ......... hope no extra controversy rises from it ) .......... rain, wind, lightining and what not comes to it ...... but still it remains in its position stand still .......... thats why it is called the great himalaya. Abe strongly belive what you say and your power of belive should be such strong and pure that even by thousand logic by others should not derail you from your belive

MatterLogic: dont cry .. like picasso said .. one allegation and u back off .. defend urself ... no need to deregister .. or to stop coming ! i never said u are ethically or morally wrong .. i said that its the height of chutiyaps and well .. dont i have a right to have my own opinion in my opinion ... its crap .. somebody else doesnt think that way ... that's his problem. and lastly chicks ... dont u ever say anything abt the chick mania in mutter kgp is a frust place ... guys the world over look for chicks .. so do we nothing wrong in it.

TripleMe: Well along the same lines, guys all over the world use condoms. (not blow them like balloons, but other use )

KC: abey dybydx.....kyoon loa le raha hai bey....... all the guys have given enuff sermon to u...lemme tell u somethin' cooler... its lovely to bug someone when they don' want it......so be back at it.....why do u think guys arnd here hate me???

Nukem: this is examtime...most of the stuff is going to be spam atleast this thread didnt start out as one...did u know that a condom cud be inflated that much be4 looking at this thread (if u did...god help u ) dyby,dont tell me they hurt your felings

CYBERMANTAS: Yeah Slope.... for one... I replied first to ur pic... and all I said was..... U can trust Differential to come uop with the weirdest posts... it was a compliment men. In case ur forgetting ur last pic of Ganeshji with an apple..... man... some fun we had tht time.... and we are njoing rite now too..... Go Slope Go.....!!!

Xeltz: has slopy seriously left ???????

terajol: :greengrin: quite many alternate nicks for him.

MatterLogic: dybydx slope slopy differential .. whtever ..

terajol: No no..the first one ain't good.

nullchar: last 1

Xeltz: tedhe ka koi jawaab nahin aaya ... yet another nick

Moral of the story??????

I'm Going Under

Hey ppl I'd just blog in a bit..
I just heard, or rather saw a video of Amy Lee singing Going Under (Evanescence) and that too the Acoustic version...and it was simply splendid !! I havnt seen or heard abetter vocal exhibition ever !!!!!!

The Answer To My Life

Whoa....
Wats that supposed to mean as a header??
Donno..??
Me neither!!
PJ :P
Uff Sorry.....so where was I ? Oh right here !! 11 !! Coming in to blog after many days, well, havnt got time in the last few days, even for some basic events (well they are EVENTs)...That was another PJ...some people have already labeled me as a frust and confused guy!! But perhaps, lots of things are pretty much going on in my head. Time is not waiting for me, so why should I allow Tides to wait for me??
Making something out of nothing in your hands is what is not something that will win you laurels over the world!! And it should not !! I got a wonderful lesson from a much senior person in my hall.. Make something such that when the world sees it, the only word to come out of their mouth is 'WOW' !! The creation of something that has a Wow effect is important...something that is simple yet the whole world can appreciate its beauty !! Take for example a Pen. It costs just 5 bucks on the lower end, and see its uncomparable utility. I mean there cant be a better example to give, for a thing which has a wow effect. Explore your potentials and work in the field that you really like and that you really enjoy. Cos working on something that you really are not looking forward to will help you in no way, and you wont give it a good, forget giving your best !!
Overdose !!
Coming on to sothing else...I've changed my Yahoo ID from aditya2004_533 to aditya0401 !! WHY??
Reason 1 : GMail did not give me automatic mail filtering to assigned user folders, there is no facility to create folders. GMail has its creative idea of Labeles,which is decently good, but folders are folders, especailly when you are going to get more than 10 mails a day from a perticular group or a person.
Reason 2 : I was finding the previous ID too complicated and senseless. aditya0401 seems much simpler and sober.
But hey wait...my primary email id still remains dybydx.iitkgp@gmail.com, and I would receive my mails except those from Yahoo groups, on Gmail !!

Finally what do I have to say ?
I still have not found the anser to my life :D haha

Scrapped !!

Money flows like water without a dam...
Things get scrapped as if they never actually existed !!