Looking through the Kaleidoscope

An assortment of colours defining life are all that I see when I look through the kaleidoscope of Life. What does it mean?? The various moments and aspects of this little mortal word LIFE start to circle over in front of your eyes... Love, humour, relations, emotions, everything and anything that you can think of. And then one fine day, when you feel lost in the bushes, you just cry out, cry out on not just yourself, cry out on the world..you just burst out. Is there a way to keep going? Do we have the strength to always keep saying 'Miles to go before I sleep and Miles to go before I sleep' ? What does MY life mean to Others?? What does my life mean to ayone other than my PARENTS and my clsoest relatives?? Do I really mean something to my Friends? Perhaps not at all. Why else would I have to end up going places alone? Rhetorics keep popping in front my eyes the same way as browser windows pop up when you visit a porn website. Its been 20 years and still I'm in search of a friend..a someone special..those I have have become distant, no one ever stayed close enough for long enough. Or I never stayed !! But then what should I do? Look for someone? Or wait for something to come my way? Keep moving on my way though it is barren? I dont know.. Im confused..at all times its me who keeps buzzing people, perhaps I have started expecting too much from those I think I can make friends with. But then there are times when I end up telling them 'I'm not in a modd to tak, and I'm out of words, I dont know what to say, perhaps I'm boring you a lot, Bye.' ....
Thats the way things are !!